


You dont know what its like

by 4ssassin4hire



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, felt like shit so i made shit, i made Gabriel suffer again, if i continue it then there will be jack involved, thats it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 18:00:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10667889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/4ssassin4hire/pseuds/4ssassin4hire
Summary: “You…you don’t know what it feels like to be alone …do you?”, the dark skinned man muttered to himself, “Heh, I didn’t think so” he half chuckled, taking a drag of the cigarette he had loosely hanging from his dry chapped lips.Gabriel is alone on a mission, it needs to be done, it has to be completed, but the mission of defeating his own mind is always much, much harder





	You dont know what its like

“You…you don’t know what it feels like to be alone …do you?”, the dark skinned man muttered to himself, “Heh, I didn’t think so” he half chuckled, taking a drag of the cigarette he had loosely hanging from his dry chapped lips.

He leant back against the soft bark of the tall tree, leaves scattered around him like the bullet shells he remembers so vividly. The winds weren’t whispering to him that night, it was just him and the soft shuffling of the branches and falling leaves, the moon but a thin blade in the ever-inky black sky. 

Leaning his head back, he watched as the clouds ghosted past the moons light, bathing him in momentary darkness only to be softly illuminated as the drift past. He added his own smoke to the gliding clouds, watching as it curled and forked, battled as it was slowly drained of the pale white colouring only to be lost in the air around him.

Mouth emptied of the smoke, arms rested on both knees as he relaxed further into the tree, sinking into the grass beneath him, he whispered.

“I know we’ve all been alone, and enjoyed our own company, but when you start to feel lonely, when being alone is more painful that beneficial, that, that is when you’re alone, and by fucking god am I so fucking lonely”, a soft, sad chuckle escaped. 

He hung his head low and just listened. But he could barely hear the sound of his own breathing, even the ever-present hustle of the leaves had been laid to rest. 

With no sounds to keep him distracted, his mind wandered. It lead him to happier times, times when there were so many sounds to occupy his lonely mind, when voices of passing team members could be bent and shifted so that it was as though he was speaking with them. He only remembered them as happier times because they distracted him from the bad. His time had never really been happy, just an illusion of happiness. 

He remembered a blonde. What he had told him before was that happiness is in the journey, not the destination.

But, was Gabriel already at his destination then?

He couldn’t be.

He hadn’t had his happy journey yet. 

Or was it that the destination is often worse that you expect and you are supposed to make yourself feel better with lies of a better end?

He didn’t know. 

What he did know though was that he had to finish his mission, he had to carry out his orders like a mindless machine and not complain. 

So he butted out his cigarette, taking a moment to glance at the dissipating clouds before he stood, ground shuffling beneath his sturdy boots. Bending down, he took his shotguns in hand, and tugged his hood over his dark neatly cut hair as he rose. 

Glancing down at the military base he was aiming for, he saw few lights, mostly just the unforgiving steels of reinforced walls under the moons rays. They looked rather like a large blade, tearing through the land as it reached across the hills, not spreading too far out so to avoid detection. 

Getting in there was easy, and so was getting out, he was a ghost after all, a ghost that no one would notice if were to just vanish one day.

He had had these trains of thought before, they were always so toxic, poisoning his mind to the point where he could focus on nothing. But he could never stop it, they swarmed in, like a colony of ants clashing and binding together to cover the ground in a dark hazy mess. 

But

What if he did? What if a stray bullet had ended him just like that? Or he was tortured to the point of death? Would anyone care?

Probably not.

He would just wallow in his own head until even that option left him and he was in nothing but darkness.

What if he-

“GAH, fuck…” hand reaching to the blazing heat that was enveloping his stomach, the burning of the pain that was oozing across his entire body.

Swaying like a new born horse, he dropped his guns with a clatter, head bowing.

Body curling in on itself, he collapsed to the ground, clutching what could be the end of him. 

The pain was blossoming more, it reached his toes, the back of his skull, claiming them for its own as it wrenched only the worst feelings it could from his body. 

Warmth was sliding down his mouth, dripping from his cheek to the ground, pooling around his curled form. 

The ground began to bounce as pebbles rose and fell by the side of his face. He felt more than heard the oncoming soldiers, boots heavy as they thundered in sync with the pebbles floating in his vision. 

Black was clouding his vision, edges darkening. Gabriel glanced down to see the moons rays shining on the red pool under his head. It was strangely comforting in a way, the warmth under him, the moon gently gracing his skin with its light. 

It was fading now. Pain a mere memory, the gentle moon no longer in sight, and the warmth beneath him no longer felt by his numb skin.

In his final moments, he didn’t wallow as he thought he would, he just appreciated what was always with him, everything that was beautiful in its own dark way. 

Maybe he could be like that one day, dark and beautiful, but with the ghost of death following.

Probably not.

For even Death was never alone, Death had the company of the souls he carried to and fro, sharing stories of the lives that the souls had once lived before their new one was to begin. 

But he was not Death, he was just another story teller for the ghost to listen to.

**Author's Note:**

> You like? Hope so. If people like it I can make the next chapter a lot happier. Maybe.
> 
> I mainly write when I feel like shit, so they always turn out dark and I'm basically venting how I feel. 
> 
> ...aaaanyway, comments are appreciated


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